It was hard, the initial 3-week stay with my new family.
Yet, very good. I can already see how living with my new family in Niakara for
the next 8 months will catalyst change in me. Reconstruction, of worldview and
categories of thought, will most certainly take place. But the deconstruction
and demolition that’s beginning hurts a bit more than I expected.
I’m not quite sure where to start. There’s a lot I’d like to
share with you about what life in an Ivorian home is like, but I wonder how to
even begin?
Maybe I’ll start by saying that, while life here takes on a
different form than the life I’ve known, people here are like people everywhere
else. In other words, we’re not all that different from one another. We all
have basic, God-given needs. We all desire love. We all need purpose. We all
have sorrow and pain and grief. We get frustrated. We all face disappointment.
We have happy moments, sad moments, and everything in between. We all love relationships. We all were
designed to work. We all love to express ourselves. We all are sinners who need
to be reconciled with our Creator.
But, the relationships, the work, the expression – it takes
on a different form here. And, this difference causes a gap between what I know
as “normal” and what is known here as “normal”. This gap brought stress –
culture shock – that ushered in a million different emotions the past three
weeks.
Some of the stressors:
Language – After 3 months of French classes, I was so
excited to finally be immersed in a family where I’d be able to use my new
understanding and build onto it. I was a bit disappointed to find out that my
family doesn’t really speak French at home. They all speak Senafo, their
mother-tongue. The family will speak French with me, but 95% of their
conversations with each other or with friends and neighbors happen in a
language I don’t understand. Needless to say, merely communicating basic things
can be quite draining.
Food – Yes, the food is an adjustment for me. Most every
meal consists of rice and sauce. As one who loves fresh fruit and vegetables on
a daily basis, eating primarily starches and oils isn’t easy for me. But, I’m
learning to enjoy the new foods. I also can buy things and bring them home to
share with the whole family. So, once in awhile I’ll buy a papaya or bananas
from people on the side of the road to eat with everyone. A bundle of ten
bananas cost less than 25 cents. One of my other favorite snacks that makes me
happy is fresh peanut butter. Completely natural and grainy, just the way I
love it.
Small spaces – Having 5 sisters between 17 and 22 is a
joyful thing, but also something to adjust to! I share a small, dimly lit room
with these girls and the quarters are tight. I’m not able to really “settle in”
because there’s not space for it. But I’ve managed to organize my little
suitcase just right so that I can access what I need without disarranging
everything else. My “bed” gets taken up every day off the floor to sweep, so
even that isn’t “my own” space. But while this is challenging, it’s also very
refining! I’m learning that simple living is key. I’m able to go a month with
about 5 different shirts, 4 different pagnes (which are like wrap skirts), and
2 pairs of underwear. I’m also learning to love bucket baths, squatty-potties
(hole in the ground = toilet), and eating from the same bowl as everyone else.
But yes, getting used to all of these changes will take some time.
Everyday I look for things to be thankful for. Here are a
few of them:
Lina, Jessica, Steve – Three other Journeyers. Steve and
Jessica Willman (who I knew from Northwestern College too!) are a fun young
couple who have lived in Cote d’Ivoire for a year and just wrapped up their
last days in Niakara. They lived with the pastor and his family there. I was so
thankful to overlap with them for my first few weeks in Niakara. They both
became a source of wisdom and encouragement since they went through the exact
same things. Lina is one of my German teammates, and the only other one who was
placed to live in Niakara. And though we live in different families, we are
able to see each other at least couple of days. She’s been such an
encouragement to me as well. We’ve been able to take walks together in the bush
to talk about all of our new experiences and pray for one another.
Church Community – The Niakara believers are family. They
love and care for each other in so many ways. The youth of the church have
already embraced Lina and I into their lives, just as they did with Steve and
Jessica. The pastor and his family are very understanding and caring for us,
too.
New Name – My family has given me a Senafo name: Katchinnin.
It can be translated to mean “gift” or “good thing.”
Goats, Chickens, Sheep – Yes, it’s bizarre, but these
animals are hilarious. They’re everywhere throughout our yard, and sometimes
they manage to sneak their way inside the house to steal food. There are
probably 20 little chicks that run around the yard, following their mother
hens. Often when I’m washing dishes outside I have chicks running across my
feet or slipping into dirty bowls as they hunt for every little leftover grain
of rice they can find. There’s a goat that’s about to give birth to adorable baby
goats.
Girl’s Bible Study – While Jessica was living in Niakara,
she began a girl’s Bible study with the teenage girls in the church.
Lord-willing, Lina and I are going to continue on with it. Jess gave Lina and I
the opportunity to co-lead the study a couple of weeks ago. Lina shared a
message on James 5 and we spent some time singing and praying together. The
theme of the message was having patience in the midst of suffering and waiting,
something that spoke to my heart. What I love about leading a Bible study with
these girls is that we’re not just teaching them once a week. We’re living,
working, singing, serving, and doing life with these girls. It’s not “us” and
“them” … but “we”.
Beaded Bracelets – In addition to studying the Word for the
Girls Bible Study, we are going to make bracelets with the girls and try to
start a little business selling them in the market. This may provide the girls
with an outlet to make money for the youth group. There are certain things like
the annual youth conference for the Baptist Churches of Cote d’Ivoire that the
youth have to pay for out of pocket. We’re hoping that selling these bracelets
will make paying for the conference and other things like that easier for
everyone.
Sisters – Like I’ve mentioned, I have five sisters at home.
Their names are Affou (22), Suzanne (21), Kinafo (19), Rachael (18), and
Assetou (17). I can already tell that it’s going to be amazing living life with
these girls. So far, I’ve worked alongside of them, learning to prepare food over
a fire with big pots, wash laundry by hand, pull up water from the well, wash
dishes, and go shopping in the market. The market still overwhelms me like
crazy. Four out of the five of the girls go to school, and the other works at a
hair salon. Braiding hair is a big part of the culture here. My sisters who go
to school said that I could join their gym class, to get to know their
classmates and have an outlet to exercise. I’ve also been able to help my
sisters with their English homework. But more important than doing things
together is simply being together. There are so many times the family just sits
together and talks. Even when they are all talking in Senafo and I don’t
understand a thing, they value me being there.
Two of my little brothers: Samuel and Alfonce
Hanging out with the girls at the salon. The one on the far left is my sister Assetou.
Some of the girls from church on Christmas day after our all-night party of dancing and eating!
Doing hair. The one in the back who is actually braiding hair is my sister Affou.
