February came and went. I know it’s the shortest month of
the year, but how can two or three days seem to make such a difference? I guess
it was a busy month for us, but it’s still weird how quickly a month can fly.
I spent most of the month getting to know people. Matthew
was away for 10 days, guiding ritzy birders from Johannesburg. While he was gone,
I stayed with five different families from church and made the most of
independency with lots of socializing. Friendships are sprouting up and I feel
loved and cared for, and I’m starting to feel known. The repetitive
conversations (like: our story; what I do (because, what do I do?); what I
think of South Africa; ect), are coming to an end because I’ve finally met
about everyone I need to meet at this point. Most of my friends I know through
Malelane Baptist Church, but these friends have also introduced me to their
friends and neighbors. So while Matthew was birding, I bonded with a handful of
young adults who are like-minded and super intriguing people! I also spent a
couple of nights at the home of a dear couple that just celebrated their 49th
anniversary. They are godly grandparent figures for me.
Even still, I’m often homesick for my friends and family in
the States. The last two days have been rough. I’ve stressed over small things
and made a big deal out of cultural differences. Amidst the joys of new
experiences, developing friendships, beautiful creation, and daily adventures,
I still battle to be fully present. I miss the conveniences of life in the
States. I miss big gluten-free sections at the grocery store and seeing things
written in American English and driving an automatic car. I miss organic coffee
with raw milk cream and Chobani Greek Yogurt.
I miss picking up the phone and calling mom or Kristen or a friend without
wondering if there’s descent reception or calculating the time difference. I
miss trips to Barnes & Noble. I miss lunch dates with people and church
where the worship is sometimes folksy hymns. I miss people just understanding
me, people who come from the same context that don’t need an explanation of
things, such as what Wisconsin is like. I miss talking about things other than
why I’m in South Africa. I even miss being ignorant of the difficulties many
people face in this part of the world. It’s like I’d rather be blind, because
at least then I had an excuse not to do something… but now that I know, I am
responsible.
It sounds awful to say those things, but in my selfishness
they can be true. My nature’s tendency is self-concern. My capacity for evil is
huge. I need the grace of God.
And when I experience His grace to believe the Gospel and
glory in it, there’s no where else I’d rather be than here in South Africa,
facing new challenges daily and learning the ways of new cultures that will
forever change me.
That’s the thing, I’m being changed. So if I were in
Wisconsin I still wouldn’t be content because people would still not know who I am and what my worldview
is really like.
But the fact of the matter is that life is not about being
understood. So to strive for normalcy or being known is not my aim in life,
though some days that is all I desire. The reality is that nobody will ever be home on this earth, though we most often think we’re home or at least that’s what we work towards. So, for me to be misplaced and forced to understand a new
cultural context is actually grace, because it allows me to be constantly
uncomfortable and challenged and learning and thinking about the fact that this
world is not my home.
I’m also responsible for what I’ve learned and to make Jesus known among the nations. I’ve learned
about the rampancy of HIV/AIDs, teenage pregnancy, and the fact that ¼ of South
African men have raped a women or girl. That’s over 5 million men in this
country. This must change.
The realities of humanity remain consistent from place to
place to ever corner of this big world. People are sinful and separated from
their Creator. But Christ has bridged the gap and offered a way for
reconciliation…forgiveness of sin and new life. These are the real facts. The
“other” facts – like Wisconsiners like good cheese and the Packers and are
tough to deal with long winters; and South Africans love sunshine and braaing
meat outside – these add interest to life but don’t distinguish souls.
